After all the recent positivity I've written about I had my eyes opened to a painful truth last night. I watched a programme on the BBC called, 'Letting Go' – part of a series focussing on living with disabilities. The previous week had been so inspirational about Nicolas Hamilton, (the younger brother of F1 driver Lewis Hamilton) and his journey to living out his dream of becoming a racing driver in his own right whilst living with cerebral palsy.
I had similar hopes for a positive programme this week knowing that it was mainly about young adults with Down's syndrome and their strive for an independent life away from the comforts of their own home. It is a box I didn't want to open and look inside just yet as it is something that deep down frightens me and lets face it, it's years away, however I thought it was worth the watch especially as I thought it may help me see how many of my worries could well be totally irrational. Unfortunately it had quite the opposite affect on me and I struggled through the whole programme as it slowly raised my fears more. I won't go into the ins and outs of why as I know every scenario is different but the one positive thing it did cement for me was just how I feel about Rosie. I thought to myself if somehow someone could come along with a magic wand and take away Rosie's DS how would I feel about that?... I can say honestly with hand on heart that I wouldn't change a single thing about her, Down's syndrome doesn't define Rosie it's merely a part of her 'make up'.
I know alot of what I write may change in the future, after all Rosie is (as of tomorrow) only a year old, we have so much to learn and so many more hurdles to jump with her but I can only talk of my feelings now. The one thing I long for is for that vulnerability to be erased and for perceptions to change so her future and everyone else living with a disability can truly be a better, more positive place. It was pointed out to me by a friend just how much love and support Rosie has around her not only from us but her wider family and friends, she is already a known part of the community here and for that reason alone she stands a great chance of having the future we all want for her.
I look forward to writing about her first birthday in the next post!